Pride Leads to Anxiety

Good morning, mommies! My little man finally slept better (and longer!) last night, and I could not be more grateful. He's working on his two-year molars, so I really don't blame him for being restless and cranky. But! It takes its toll on the home. Several friends have recommended amber teething necklaces. Yesterday, I ventured to the organic baby store to buy one for Caleb. It was quite educational...first of all, babies aren't supposed to chew on them. Secondly, they are pricier than I thought. And third, I don't know how crazy Daddy will be about his son sporting a pretty new bracelet! Apparently, the amber elements are absorbed into the skin and act as a natural alternative to ibuprofen. We'll see how it works. I bought the bracelet for Caleb, and so far, he isn't a fan. He's taken it off twice and tried to feed it to the dog. I had him wear it at bed time last night, and when I checked on him thirty minutes later, he was sitting in bed staring at his wrist. Obviously, it was bugging him. But...it was $15, so we'll see if I can get him to like it! Like I said, I've heard nothing but praise about this "healing" jewelry. Stay tuned!

I recently came to a new understanding about myself. When life gets extra busy, even with good things, my tendency to succumb to stress and anxiety attacks shoots through the roof. I know I'm prone to high anxiety when negative stress is evident in my life, but I didn't realize how wonderful, but extremely busy, events compounds my stress, too. I don't know about you, but my high stress symptoms are bad stomach aches, nausea, fatigue but an inability to "come down" and rest, and even shortness of breath and a fast/irregular pulse. Don't worry...after years of this happening, I'm pretty sure I'm not dying. But, I'm also pretty sure that God doesn't desire that I live this way. I'm snippier with my husband, son, and friends, and I walk around wringing my hands about all that I need to get done instead of simply setting my mind to the tasks at hand. Right now, we're preparing to list our house, actively purchasing another house, preparing to celebrate my brother's college graduation in Ohio, planning a baby shower in Kansas for my sister-in-law, starting the wedding planning for my best friend, and preparing for an somewhat unplanned vacation to Florida with my family in June. Oh yeah, and still trying to get preggers :-) Again, all amazingly wonderful things, but even when you pile wonderful things on top of one another, you still feel the pressure on your shoulders.

God led me to an interesting passage of scripture. Have you ever noticed that when there is a break in the wording or a new paragraph in the Bible, you tend to naturally shift your mind onto a new thought? I rarely look for the continuity from one chapter/section to the next, even though I've been taught that chapters and sections were placed in our English versions of the Bible hundreds of years after they were written. We can literally lose things in translation, sometimes. Here is an example:

"...God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert..." 1 Peter 5:5-8

Each of these statements on their own are good nuggets of faith...don't be proud, give Him your anxiety, and be self-controlled. In my Bible, I have a break from verses 5 to 6. When I have read it before, my brain does a shift from pride to anxiety, and I've never connected the two. If we read 1 Peter 5 continuously, we will see that a prideful attitude seemingly leads to anxiety, which must be combated by giving our stresses to Him and choosing to exercise self-control, as to not slip back into our prideful/anxious ways. That's a new thought! Could my prideful nature of thinking "I have to do it all, no one but me can do it like it should be done, and my number one job is to perfectly care for my family and my home" be the reason I struggle with anxiety attacks? I think it is exceedingly possible for pride to sneak into our innocent desire to do our best for God at the tasks that He has given us! At this moment, I am tasked with many things as a wife, mother, sister, sister-in-law, daughter, and friend. If I think that I am the only one who can do a good job at my list of tasks, that immediately makes me a prideful woman. If I neglect to go to God for the strength, organizational skills, and help which I so desperately need, my prideful nature will immediately lead to anxiety. If I continuously choose not to take my stresses to the Lord for help and consolation, that shows a lack of self-control, which makes me try harder, which causes more anxiety, etc. You see...it's a never-ending spiral!

I am so grateful for this new revelation, and I just hope I will be able to put it into practice. Whether your life is full of busy and wonderful events, difficult and not-so-happy events, or simply daily events that you are responsible for as a mother, rest assured that He wants to hear about them and give you ways to organize, cope, and delegate. Two days ago, I prayed (more like yelled!) in frustration about needing more time to stage our house without Caleb pouring mac and cheese all over the floor. Truly girls, I almost lost it. Then, out of the blue, a friend from Bible study emailed and offered to take Caleb so that I could work on the house in peace. Thank you, Jesus! You, the Creator who is busily running the world took the time to encourage my friend to willingly offer to watch my child for a few hours. He knew I was too prideful in all of my "important jobs" to ask. Truthfully, I haven't taken her up on it yet. But after today's post, I will!

Isn't it funny how we can be in the midst of poorly handling a situation, and He still comes through for us? I felt like He was saying, "All you needed to do was ask for my help, my dear." Okay, I got the message! I hope I can remember it day-to-day. And, I hope this was an encouragement to you :-)

I hear my child gagging himself out of boredom in his crib. Ah...the joys of motherhood!