How To Trust him...

Aaahhh...the break was taken, and it was lovely! The time away with my husband was needed more than we knew. I highly recommend finding a way to do this, even for just a night, every so often. We had an absolute blast! The moms retreat get-away was everything I had hoped for...refreshing, relaxing, fun, and spiritually encouraging. I came back a happy girl on Sunday night! My husband left on a business trip Monday morning, so I was thrown back into the norm right away. I truly love my life, but it's taken me a couple of days to re-set...and clean up from the "man time" this weekend :-)

Today, I want to practically share two ways in which I practiced godly submission with my husband over the past couple of weeks. One night, he told me that he found a 1988 Toyota 4Runner that he really wanted. I literally bit my lip while the following went through my mind:

• we already have three vehicles with only two drivers in the house
• he currently drives a 1989 Honda Civic...but we need an older car?!
• who spends nearly $3000 on an almost 25-year-old vehicle?
• it was super ugly
• there are so many other things we could do with $3000
• this was a terrible idea

In the past, all of these things would have come flying out of my mouth at record speed, which would immediately lead to an argument of how I don't support his dreams, I like to control situations, and how I am unable to have a calm conversation. For many years, I assumed it was my God-given responsibility to tell my husband when he was having a really bad idea and to lead him into the light of my all-knowing womanly mind. As I'm sure you could guess, he somehow never responded well to this method of "spousal support." So this time, instead of enlightening him with all of my wisdom, I simply said, "Okay...why do you want to get this?"...with a smile!!! Ladies, he was shocked, but intrigued! He answered my sweetly-asked questions, and I agreed to go look at it with him. I entertained our son for two hours (patience is a virtue!) while my husband inspected the car, and I simply prayed for him to make the right decision. He told the seller that he needed to sleep on it and talk to his wife (thanks, honey!).

That night, he finally asked for my opinion. I intentionally waited to see if and when he would ask. When he did, I respectfully told him that I didn't think we needed it, but I know that he found some amount of joy in the man-toy. I freely gave him my support to make the right decision (minus the manipulating tone I typically used), and low and behold, he decided that he didn't really need it the next morning. Wowza! This scripture stuff actually works!

As I was processing the whole situation, I realized that the two possible outcomes (getting the car or not getting the car) would not make or break our marriage...at all. What does make or break our marriage in the long run is love, respect, and the refusal to create contention between one another. I know that, at his core, my husband is a wise and godly man. He makes great decisions, but not all the time. I make great decisions, but not all the time. We all do. In that situation, it was more edifying to our marriage for me to show submission and respect for his authority over our finances than for me to list all of the ways why buying this vehicle was a bad idea. To this day, I still think it would have been a bad idea to buy it, but that isn't the point. Every time I let my husband make a substantial decision for my family, it forces him to take the subject to the Lord and to either allow his confidence to be built in the wake of a good decision, or deal with the consequences after a poor decision is made. The higher our husband's Godly confidence in leading his family, the better it will be for us and for our children. I truly believe that confidence is built by letting him learn and make decisions. No confidence is built in a man by simply following someone else's nagging direction.

The second example where I practiced intentional submission was on Sunday night when Patrick opened his heart to share with me that God may be calling us to do some mission work in South America. Whoa. Total blindside, wasn't expecting this at all, and we've never really talked about that part of the world. Again, my mind blew up with resistance...

• we finally feel settled in Colorado
• we're making lots of friends and getting plugged into church
• we don't have any experience in missions or church leadership
• we're supposed to put down roots and have lots of babies
• where did this come from?!?

Instead, I chose to say..."okay, how can I pray about this?" He asked for me to pray for focus as he listened to God. So, I didn't make it a lengthy conversation tackling the logistics of a move, why or why not this was a good or bad idea, or how it would drastically change the life I thought we were supposed to live. I swallowed hard, and agreed to pray for God to develop this plan if it was something He needed us to do. Patrick thanked me, and we actually haven't discussed it since. Again, I really don't feel like the point of submission has anything to do with the issue...whether is is an old 4Runner or a drastic life move to another continent. The point is that our husbands know they are allowed to dream and speak freely with us, without having immediate resistance. Here's the thing, ladies...even though we may feel like our quick-tempered thoughts are the only right and true way of looking at the situation, we could be dead wrong. I could be encouraging my husband on the South American mission field with multiple kiddos in tow in a few years, and it could be the absolute best experience of my life. How sad for the thought to have been abruptly squelched simply because I refused to lean in on my husband's lead.

I hope you can find some blessing in these posts on submitting to our husbands. As always, I write about experiences that I am currently working through with the Lord. Never have I claimed to be an expert on any subject! Thanks for reading, and join me next time as I discuss Godly submission in response to an ungodly husband. Today, and everyday, be blessed!

MMSM #54

As you know, I absolutely love holiday decorations. I was in the market for a new Fall wreath for our front door, and I was shocked to find them for sale anywhere between $70 and $100!  What?!? So, I took inspiration from some wreaths that I liked and decided to make my own. I found the base wreath at Hobby Lobby (HL) for 5.99. Then, I went around and dug for sprigs and Fallish flower bunches that I could pull apart, on sale of course. Find some pretty ribbon (great deals after a holiday has passed) that you like, and splurge a little for some glitter sprigs to add some sparkle (found in the floral section). Grab a glue gun and start creating! It took me a couple of hours to do this one, but I chatted with friends and had fun trying different things. My method is to get your bow done first, then start adding your broken apart sprigs and bunches until the desired look is achieved. Douse the wreath in hot glue so that your creation stays in place. For more specific tips, comment below. Happy decorating! BTW, always check the Coupon App for HL coupons to make this purchase even cheaper! This whole wreath cost around $30.

Tip #41

After working with this for a couple of months, here is a revised cleaning schedule. It's really working well for me, and I rarely feel overwhelmed or embarrassed by the house! Tweak it to fit your situation, and see if it can bring some organizational blessing to your home!

MONDAY:

• Make Bed 
• Bathrooms
• Clutter
• Trash
• One Load of Laundry
• Kitchen

TUESDAY:

• Make Bed
• Clutter
• Dust (weeks 1 and 2)
• Catch-Up (week 3)
• One Load of Laundry
• Kitchen

WEDNESDAY:

• Make Bed
• Clutter
• Windows or Floors
• One Load of Laundry
• Kitchen

THURSDAY:

• Make Bed
• Clutter
• Mail
• One Deep Clean Project
• One Load of Laundry
• Kitchen

FRIDAY:

• Make Bed
• Clutter
• Vacuum
• Bills and Budget
• One Load of Laundry
• Kitchen

SATURDAY:

• Make Bed
• Clutter
• Yard/Inside Project or...
• Coupons
• Water Plants
• One Load of Laundry
• Kitchen

SUNDAY:

• Make Bed
• Clutter
• Kitchen