Submitting to Him and him...continued!

Happy funny Friday! A big thank you to our son for providing today's giggle. When I went to check on him the other night, I found him awake and laying there like this (sorry the picture is rather dark!):

I knew that we had an out-of-control pacifier obsession, but this takes it to a new level. Oh well, you can scold me if he takes his paci to kindergarten with him :-)

I want to thank you all for the wonderfully encouraging comments on my past two posts. The topic of Godly submission to our husbands is a tough one, typically met by much criticism of the seemingly controlling and old-fashioned mind set. As I gave you two practical examples, I hope you can see that my goal is to not allow my husband to abusively control my every thought and action, but to choose to obey God and the man He set as the leader of my family when it comes to decisions that can directly impact my husband's confidence. What do I mean? Whether or not I do the dishes in the morning or the evening does not impact my respect-level for my husband, or how much my husband feels that I respect him. Whether or not I take Caleb to the park or to the zoo does not effect the amount in which my husband feels that I honor him and his position in our family. Even the choice of which groceries to buy doesn't really make or break relational building in our marriage. Please don't get the impression that I call and "ask permission" before making any decision throughout my day. I know that I need to submit to his authority over our family if not doing so would cause him to feel disrespected, belittled, or to have hurt confidence. Sometimes I'm wrong. Sometimes, I can tell that a decision I have made without consulting him has caused his feathers to ruffle. I simply apologize and promise to try and remember to come to him in the future. On the flip side, there are subjects where he has simply said, "I don't care what you do." This is never said with meanness, but he is communicating to me that my decision on the matter doesn't effect us for the long-haul. In other words...knock myself out and let him know how it goes :-)

I hope I am making sense to each of you reading this post. As women and wives, we do have sound minds, Godly wisdom, and excellent multi-tasking and decision-making abilities. God did not place those in us by mistake! In fact, I firmly believe they are crucial for mothering in a Godly manner. Take a step back and think about the number of decisions we make everyday as SAHMs. What do we eat, what do they wear, do I clean this up now or later, what do we do for fun, when should they nap, when should I shower, what needs to be cleaned first, how do I enrich my children spiritually today, what errands do I run first, what do I wear, and most importantly...when do I go to the bathroom??? Add about a thousand more daily choices, and you are getting closer to the average day in the life of a SAHM. I'm sure our husbands would prefer that we don't "submit" every one of these thoughts to them all day long. But, when it's a "heart subject" (i.e. something that can have lasting effects on your feelings and/or your marriage and your family), make sure to take it to your husband and discuss. This will look different in each of our marriages. My husband will care about subjects that your husband would never dream of, and vice versa. We must want to know our husbands enough that we understand his deepest cares and concerns. Just imagine what years of submitting to his authority over our family would look like! I suspect that we would have confident, God-fearing, excellent decision-making husbands and fathers. Who loses in that situation? Certainly not the wife!

So, a question has been on my heart. I've asked the Lord what I should tell you, sweet mommies, who have a husband that is not committed to the Lord...a.k.a. your husband isn't a Christian. Here are some verses that I hope will offer encouragement and direction:

"Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters." Romans 14:1

"Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you." Hebrews 13:17

"For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife..." 1 Corinthians 7:14

While there are many other verses that could support this topic, these three are powerful. First, we simply need to accept our husbands no matter where they are on the never-ending timeline of spiritual growth. Just as we are on our own journeys towards becoming more like Christ, we must remember to give our husbands the grace to take the same journey. Over the nearly nine years my husband and I have known each other, we have each had personal spiritual growth spurts, times on mountain tops, times in valleys, times of refining, times of blessing, and times when we have questioned the work of God in our lives. As I shared in my very first post, we met during a time when we were not walking with the Lord. Partying, drinking, and instant gratification of self-interests ruled our lives. Thankfully, God was faithful to gently draw us out of that destructive lifestyle and into a life focused on Him. But here's the kicker...he drew us out of the lifestyle at different speeds and in different ways. My husband is not the man today that he was when I met him. I am not the woman today that I was when he met me. Thank God! While it is hard to put into daily practice, we must continuously give each other grace to take our own spiritual journey with the Lord.

The next verse talks about how we are commanded to obey and submit to our husbands. It doesn't say that there is an exception for "repetitive bad decision-making!" Read above as it says they are "men who must give an account." God will ultimately hold them responsible for the decisions that they made during their time on Earth, not us. I love the second part of that verse. It says that it is to our advantage to obey them! We want to be a joy to them, not a burden. 

Finally, what if the Lord has pre-ordained YOU to be the one that leads your husband to Christ. We read time and time again that we are to lead by example, not necessarily by preaching. Who knows how your daily choice to submit to your husband as the leader of your family may eventually lead him toward submission to Christ. What an amazing honor!

I hope I have not hit this subject ad nauseum. It has really been on my heart lately, obviously, so I felt truly compelled to share it with each of you. I would love to hear stories about how you have shown intentional submission to your husband. I will keep sharing my stories, as well. Today, and everyday, be blessed!

MMSM #55

It's that time again, ladies...craft fairs! No matter where you live, you should have a plethora of shows to choose from between now and Christmas (look for flyers, newspaper ads, etc.). These events are great ways to browse with girlfriends, while your kids hang out in the stroller. Even better? You can get some stinkin' good deals. If you see something you really like, give bargaining a try! Go towards the end of the show/weekend, and see if you can score a deal on items that the vendors don't want to pack up and take home. Finally, browse through the lovely items and make mental notes of things you could create at home. I know...so wrong, but I've done it! The budget is always happier that way. Happy shopping!