The Husband Weighs In...

Good evening, ladies! I had a massive post prepared tonight (after taking a few days off to gather my thoughts and suffer through P.M.S.), and I casually shared it with my husband before pressing "publish." Much to my surprise, he cautioned me about my subject matter and tone. This, my friends, has never happened. I didn't think it was anything too controversial, but he suggested that my words may come across as insensitive. What was the subject, you ask? The decision to become a SAHM vs. working full-time outside of the home. His thoughts were precious to me, and I feel compelled to share them with you.

Patrick reminded me that while there are some mothers who will choose to enjoy the pride of their careers and purposely choose alternative, albeit wonderful, care-givers for their children, the vast majority of working mothers would give up their jobs in an instant for the opportunity to stay at home with their children. So much so, that it could be painful for these mothers to read my posts advocating SAHMommyhood without the acknowledgement of their challenging reality. He says..."they might desire to stay at home, but they don't logistically know how to get there."  I need to ask God to give me the words of compassion as I lovingly write to these mothers. No family situation is black and white. They are all grey. I would love to hear comments from these mothers in hopes of writing helpful posts that offer practical advice.

Then, there are the moms, he suggested, that think they may want to stay home, but they aren't quite sure. They could financially do it, but these moms are scared. They wonder if they will like staying home. They question whether or not daily fulfillment will come from staring into the face of their baby for hours on end. He made me remember my time of doubt. I didn't immediately decide to stay at home when the two lines appeared on the pregnancy test. It was a journey that God had to walk me through. I need to remember my roots in order to empathize with mothers currently weighing their options.

And finally, there is another group of mothers. What is the number one reason moms choose to not stay at home? According to my husband, it's finances. He suggested that I create a page, which he would help me write, that focused solely on the following: "Would you like to be a SAHM? Here is a step-by-step guide to how we financially prepared for our son's arrival, and here are the daily ways in which we practice strong financial stewardship to maintain our one-income household." Great idea, honey! And all this time, I thought he was just nice to look at :-) Stay tuned for this new page, coming soon!

I have really allowed the Lord to guide my blog where He sees fit over the past year. Ultimately, my posts have been geared towards general spiritual encouragement towards any young mom, whether they stay at home or work outside the home. I feel in my spirit that this is His plan. Do I wholeheartedly believe in staying at home as the primary caregiver for your children? Absolutely. Do I realistically recognize that this is not possible for every woman regardless of her overwhelming desire to do so? Yes. Will I continue to pray blessings, specifically financial, over each of the working women reading my posts in hopes that she may be able to stay home one day? You can count on it. I also pray that mothers reading this blog who intentionally work outside of the home might reconsider this lifestyle through the sharing of the scriptures from our Lord and Savior.

My intention is never ever to make any mother feel bad about herself or the decisions she has made with her husband. My true heart is to encourage each one of us, myself included, through these challenging and rewarding years of early child-rearing. I'm going to continue to let the Lord lead this blog wherever He wants it to go. I pray that my focused posts and organized pages will be easier to navigate and a blessing to any mom that may stumble across this site.

Finally, I feel a special urging on my heart to acknowledge a precious kind of mother tonight. To all of you single mommies out there...I wholeheartedly pray that our heavenly Father has a special crown to bestow upon you when you meet Him face-to-face. The family of a single mother and her children always stems from loss. Either from the abandonment of the father, the death of the father, or the mother's decision to remove herself and her children in order to protect themselves. Let me just say that the single mothers whom I know personally have risen beautifully to the challenges set before them. You are a full-time parent and a full-time provider. The Lord considers a mother who is without a father to aid in child-rearing, a widow. And, He clearly instructs His followers, many times, to lovingly watch over and support the widows among us, just as He does.

"...Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow." Isaiah 1:17

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27

"The Lord watches over the alien and sustains the fatherless and the widow, but He frustrates the ways of the wicked." Psalm 146:9

Thank you, always, for reading. Thank you for giving me grace, and thank you for desiring to do motherhood according to His plan. I love being on this journey with each of you. Today, and everyday, be blessed!

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