"Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in His holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:7-11
Can you tell this topic is on my mommy mind lately? Maybe some of you can relate. Our son seems to be exhibiting unacceptable behaviors that are ahead of where the "books" say he should be, but his capacity to understand consequences and discipline is still quite immature. For instance, he can deliberately look me in the eye and disobey a direction I've given him a hundred times about not touching the fan in his room or throwing handfuls of food at my face, but when he is spanked, put in time out, or firmly scolded, he typically laughs. We know our children. We know when they are merely exploring or choosing to be defiant. You can see it in their eyes...am I right?! So, what is a mother to do?
I remember when my parents used to say, "This hurts me more than it hurts you." I always thought they were totally ridiculous for saying that, but now I completely understand. I hate to discipline Caleb. This fact alone surprises me. I was a pretty tough teacher, and I expected a lot out of my students, especially when it came to behavior. I didn't hesitate using appropriate discipline, and in turn, I usually had a controlled and well-behaved classroom. When it comes to my sweet baby boy, it's torture. I know he needs discipline, I know he needs correction, and I know he needs boundaries, but the questions that loom in my mind during these episodes are upsetting...
- Is this the right discipline method for this child?
- If I'm making a mistake and being too harsh, will he be scarred for life?
- Why isn't he responding the way I want him to?
- When he is so quick to pick up other behaviors, why won't this stick?
- Am I making too big a deal out of this specific behavior?
- If I "let this behavior go," am I setting us both up for bigger challenges?
As I have been sorting through these thoughts and questions as we slowly make progress in this area, I came to the realization (with my mom's encouragement) that I am even more grateful that I have the privilege to stay at home with Caleb. While he is an absolutely precious child, his behavior is challenging. I shudder at the thought of how he would, or wouldn't, be disciplined in a daycare setting. I know my son. I watch the ins and outs of his personality all day, everyday. As we've moved into this challenging phase of child-rearing, the gratefulness I feel is overwhelming for the responsibility of raising him not to just be a good boy, but to be a great man. It's a privilege. Yes, most husbands are involved with discipline, as they should be, but if you stay at home during the day, the brunt of this not-so-pleasant job lies on your shoulders. A not-so-pleasant privilege...strange!
Which leads to me to my final point of today. Often times, I have looked at disciplining my sweet boy as a curse. My flesh doesn't want to do it. It doesn't like to do it. And when I finally do get a reaction from him (crying, sad eyes, etc.), which is the goal, I feel like the world's worst mother for hurting my son. Last week, on a particularly hard day, the Lord led me to the above passage. Isn't His Word amazing? Not only does He acknowledge that the act of disciplining is unpleasant, but He emphasizes that it is painful. I can only assume that He means painful for all involved. But then, He goes on to say that just as we are disciplined by Him, those we discipline in love will reap the benefits of "...a harvest of righteousness and peace." Oh, how I would love to bring that upon my child! I felt like God is sympathizing with us as we discipline our children, just as He disciplines us (and eventually our children). He does it because He loves us. We should do it because we love our babies. Be blessed, mommies, and join me tomorrow as we discuss...duh, duh, duh...spanking.
MMSM #41
Need a
great, and super inexpensive, idea for a girl's night out? Find a
willing hostess to provide coffee and drinks, and have each lady brings
an appetizer/dessert to share. Here comes the fun part...bring
necklaces, earrings, scarves, purses, hats, shoes, any accessory that
you no longer wear, but is still in good shape. Set everything up like a
really cute boutique, draw numbers to see who picks first, then you get
to shop (for FREE!) for the number of items that you brought. For
instance, I brought 13 items to our event, and I got to pick 13
new-to-me accessories to bring home! Anything that doesn't get chosen,
donate to a local charity store. Happy (FREE!) shopping!
Tip #29
This tip
is being implemented today in the McNamee house. Trying to clean the
whole house in one day is way too time-consuming, and it rarely gets
done. Use this link that I found to help get you started on your
cleaning schedule, or design one that works just for your house...Cleaning Schedule. Here's to a happy and sparkling home!
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