Monday, March 11, 2013

I Don't Care!

"Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall...But as for me, I trust in You." Psalm 55:22-23

"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

A few weeks ago, I received prayer at the altar after church. I needed someone to agree with me, in prayer, that God's timing for our next child is perfect. I was struggling with deep disappointment after two months of negative pregnancy tests. I know, I know...two months is nothing! But for me, for whatever reason, it wasn't nothing. It was devastating. So, a woman on the prayer team sweetly took the time to pray over me, my husband, our son, and our future children. It was an emotional and powerful time for both of us, for several reasons that I won't elaborate on today, and several things that she mentioned in her prayer have continued to come to mind since that day. I want to share a very special lesson that I learned on that precious Sunday morning...

During her prayer, she said, "Lord, make it so that it seems Kindra doesn't care when the next child will arrive because she has cast all of her cares on to You." At first, I thought that it was a strange thing to say. I didn't want it to seem like I didn't care if we had another baby, or like I wouldn't care if it took years for us to get pregnant again. I did care...deeply. But, that's not what she, or the Lord, meant with that statement. Look at the verses above. Imagine if we were able to so completely trust the Lord with His plan for our lives that we truly didn't care what happened. I'm not talking about being apathetic. I mean having such a deep understanding and trust that His way is always right, that we need not worry about what will happen next and at what time. He knows my heart. He knows my deep longing to continue my calling of motherhood with more children. But, ultimately, He has asked me to trust Him with His timing. To put His sovereign decisions ahead of my own desires. The Lord knows when our next baby will be conceived. He already knows the name, what the baby will look like, the baby's talents and gifts, and the calling on the baby's life. Who am I to say that February is the month we must get pregnant, because I feel ready! It sounds ridiculous, doesn't it?!

Whenever someone asks when the next one is coming along (and, may I just say...why do people see you falling all over yourself with your crazy toddler and then feel the need to ask when the next one is coming!?!), I need to simply say...whenever God decides its time. Isn't that better than, "Well, we've been trying for a few months with no luck, and we hope nothing's wrong, and it's been really disappointing, and I hope I'm not getting too old, and I hope I healed nicely from my c-section, and, and, and..." We need to get in the habit of speaking words of peace over ourselves, instead of speaking the fears and anxieties that are wrongly bouncing around inside our heads. And just think, you never know who you may be ministering to when you convey the truth of God in your words, instead of the lies of the enemy.

For those of you hoping to conceive, I pray that this post will be especially meaningful. For those of you who have your hands full with your current brood, maybe there is another subject you can decide to "not care" about. After all, how could we care when we have done what His word commands...

"Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you..."


 

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